Stick a fork in me -- when is a mother's work ever done?

If you read the title and said NEVER.  I say EXACTLY! But really?  What is important to teach our children?  There was an ad on the radio for a website today, and when I hear the ad again, I"ll add to this blog but it went something like. Yes!  That is blue.  Now how many flowers are there? says a mother and a small child responds then voice over, it's your job to teach your children about the world.  Huh?!

We (my husband and I) just had a conversation less than a week ago on this same topic.  His statement, "Everything isn't a lesson."  My statement, "Yes it is!"  spiraling argument ensues.  So, what do we teach our children, when does it stop, what do we say - when, when do we listen? Ugh!  Decisions, Decisions. Those of you that think it's difficult choosing which stroller to buy, listen up!  It only gets worse.

Being an educator at heart, and yes this goes way before entering a college major in Education, I find it hard to stop.  First, I reflect on the fact that when Kayleigh was first born, and before I attended class after class. New Mom Support Group, Active Baby Class, Strengthening Families and well they all say what this ad says.  First, PBS mini lessons popup after Teletubbies, sorry that was the show of the times, and they said your baby learns the most their first 3 years.  Teach and nurture them all you can! So, I would sit hours on end, escaping my own homework making up songs, my daughter could spell her name, recite the alphabet, imitate every animal, tell you the planets in the solar system, give turn by turn directions to great grandma's house. All before she was 3.  Yep, I have this parenting stuff in the bag.

So what happened?  I got stupid?  She got a mind of her own?  She still knows all that stuff, super! and so much more.  So when do I stop?  I ask this because the last thing I want to do is talk to my mom and get a lecture or get unsolicited advice.  I am perfectly capable of ASKING when I want your opinion.  The rest of the time, no thanks.  And that's not just from my mother.  I'm sure these teens think the same thing.  Can't I clean the bathroom without you showing me what needs to be done better?  Can't I fail an exam without you telling me how to that isn't how I'll get into college?  I guess, drawing the line gets tricky.  My husband says, only answer questions when they are asked and only answer them yes or no.

So why when he said yes when our ten-year-old asked, "Can I take my iPod to school?"  I clinched my teeth. Then she came home with it lost. When do you say "ok, it's lost" and when do you give an explanation?  What I want to say is, You don't take your iPod to school because it's an expensive electronic and it is not only easy to break but tempting for others to want to take it home for their own.  Then you won't have an iPod and I don't want to see that happen. Hubby, says, "Just tell her No then."  She doesn't need a lesson as to why. Does she learn more if I explain, does she tune me out after no anyway, or did she learn the most from losing it and no REAL harm done?

In the interest of not boring you to death, I'll end it here and feel from to comment.  As these girls get older, 10, 16, 18 when do you listen, when do you answer, when do you explain?

Stick a fork in me...but I'm far from done.