When I was sixteen I got my driver's license, I broke up with one boyfriend, and found the 'one' I have now. When I was sixteen I got tapped for National Honors Society, took the ACT and SAT, and went to a White Zombie concert. When I was 16 I went to more movies that year than I ever had. When I was 16 I couldn't have imagined having a sixteen year old daughter, but I do now. Now my daughter born 16 years ago today is going to more movies than she ever has before, has a great group of friends, and who knows what else is to come.
To think on Mother's Day, back to the day she was born. Sixteen years ago, on Mother's Day, May 12, 1996, I was in line at Ponderosa in Bellefontaine with my mother and grandmothers. The next morning May 13, I woke up not feeling well and I went to the doctor who said I MIGHT have a baby but not likely. I went shopping for a dresser at every used furniture store on Main Street, went to the Upper Valley Mall for lord knows what, came home and cleaned the dresser and finally my dad said at 8 PM I think it's time.
At 9:59 PM, yes less than 2 hours after being at the hospital, screaming, in pain, no medication, Kayleigh was born.
Nobody can ever prepare you for how much your first child will change, and transform your life. Happy Birthday Kayleigh. You're sixteen.
The busy life of a mom, teacher, entrepreneur, wife, sister, and daughter trying to save money and stay sane. This blog travels through my journey of learning more everyday academically, socially, and spiritually.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Stick a fork in me -- when is a mother's work ever done?
If you read the title and said NEVER. I say EXACTLY! But really? What is important to teach our children? There was an ad on the radio for a website today, and when I hear the ad again, I"ll add to this blog but it went something like. Yes! That is blue. Now how many flowers are there? says a mother and a small child responds then voice over, it's your job to teach your children about the world. Huh?!
We (my husband and I) just had a conversation less than a week ago on this same topic. His statement, "Everything isn't a lesson." My statement, "Yes it is!" spiraling argument ensues. So, what do we teach our children, when does it stop, what do we say - when, when do we listen? Ugh! Decisions, Decisions. Those of you that think it's difficult choosing which stroller to buy, listen up! It only gets worse.
Being an educator at heart, and yes this goes way before entering a college major in Education, I find it hard to stop. First, I reflect on the fact that when Kayleigh was first born, and before I attended class after class. New Mom Support Group, Active Baby Class, Strengthening Families and well they all say what this ad says. First, PBS mini lessons popup after Teletubbies, sorry that was the show of the times, and they said your baby learns the most their first 3 years. Teach and nurture them all you can! So, I would sit hours on end, escaping my own homework making up songs, my daughter could spell her name, recite the alphabet, imitate every animal, tell you the planets in the solar system, give turn by turn directions to great grandma's house. All before she was 3. Yep, I have this parenting stuff in the bag.
So what happened? I got stupid? She got a mind of her own? She still knows all that stuff, super! and so much more. So when do I stop? I ask this because the last thing I want to do is talk to my mom and get a lecture or get unsolicited advice. I am perfectly capable of ASKING when I want your opinion. The rest of the time, no thanks. And that's not just from my mother. I'm sure these teens think the same thing. Can't I clean the bathroom without you showing me what needs to be done better? Can't I fail an exam without you telling me how to that isn't how I'll get into college? I guess, drawing the line gets tricky. My husband says, only answer questions when they are asked and only answer them yes or no.
So why when he said yes when our ten-year-old asked, "Can I take my iPod to school?" I clinched my teeth. Then she came home with it lost. When do you say "ok, it's lost" and when do you give an explanation? What I want to say is, You don't take your iPod to school because it's an expensive electronic and it is not only easy to break but tempting for others to want to take it home for their own. Then you won't have an iPod and I don't want to see that happen. Hubby, says, "Just tell her No then." She doesn't need a lesson as to why. Does she learn more if I explain, does she tune me out after no anyway, or did she learn the most from losing it and no REAL harm done?
In the interest of not boring you to death, I'll end it here and feel from to comment. As these girls get older, 10, 16, 18 when do you listen, when do you answer, when do you explain?
Stick a fork in me...but I'm far from done.
We (my husband and I) just had a conversation less than a week ago on this same topic. His statement, "Everything isn't a lesson." My statement, "Yes it is!" spiraling argument ensues. So, what do we teach our children, when does it stop, what do we say - when, when do we listen? Ugh! Decisions, Decisions. Those of you that think it's difficult choosing which stroller to buy, listen up! It only gets worse.
Being an educator at heart, and yes this goes way before entering a college major in Education, I find it hard to stop. First, I reflect on the fact that when Kayleigh was first born, and before I attended class after class. New Mom Support Group, Active Baby Class, Strengthening Families and well they all say what this ad says. First, PBS mini lessons popup after Teletubbies, sorry that was the show of the times, and they said your baby learns the most their first 3 years. Teach and nurture them all you can! So, I would sit hours on end, escaping my own homework making up songs, my daughter could spell her name, recite the alphabet, imitate every animal, tell you the planets in the solar system, give turn by turn directions to great grandma's house. All before she was 3. Yep, I have this parenting stuff in the bag.
So what happened? I got stupid? She got a mind of her own? She still knows all that stuff, super! and so much more. So when do I stop? I ask this because the last thing I want to do is talk to my mom and get a lecture or get unsolicited advice. I am perfectly capable of ASKING when I want your opinion. The rest of the time, no thanks. And that's not just from my mother. I'm sure these teens think the same thing. Can't I clean the bathroom without you showing me what needs to be done better? Can't I fail an exam without you telling me how to that isn't how I'll get into college? I guess, drawing the line gets tricky. My husband says, only answer questions when they are asked and only answer them yes or no.
So why when he said yes when our ten-year-old asked, "Can I take my iPod to school?" I clinched my teeth. Then she came home with it lost. When do you say "ok, it's lost" and when do you give an explanation? What I want to say is, You don't take your iPod to school because it's an expensive electronic and it is not only easy to break but tempting for others to want to take it home for their own. Then you won't have an iPod and I don't want to see that happen. Hubby, says, "Just tell her No then." She doesn't need a lesson as to why. Does she learn more if I explain, does she tune me out after no anyway, or did she learn the most from losing it and no REAL harm done?
In the interest of not boring you to death, I'll end it here and feel from to comment. As these girls get older, 10, 16, 18 when do you listen, when do you answer, when do you explain?
Stick a fork in me...but I'm far from done.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Dirty dishes
So... I created this page a year ago anticipating that I could chronicle my educational journey toward my Master's degree. Hence, Living busy, learning more.
Ask anyone, I had the Fullest Plate. I was spending every other week at the skatepark with Skate Chaos 4H Club, every Thursday at the fairgrounds advising the 4H county Glee Club, heading up a girl scout meeting every other week, working 3 different jobs for a total of 42 hours per week, 3 daughters at home and a husband. I was busy and yet, to my satisfaction not TOO busy. I mean, I like being busy. Having a full plate means I don't have to clean it, right? Cleaning is something I detest. Let's organize all day! Not cleaning!! So if I keep busy enough, I have an excuse. Right?!
Here I am doing all these activities that frankly center around my kids. At this point in the spring, when marching band and soccer are over, 4H is the focus. So as we determine that not one child is interested in softball anymore, and we have other interests. It's all good.
Here I make the leap to go for my Master's degree. A step I've been looking at for 10 years. Finally, I have some money that gives me time to do it. Yeah, time is money and so money gives me time. What I mean is I quit my job(s) to take grant money and go to school with no financial impact on my family. So who would have thought when I stepped away from so many activities I'd be so busy. I mean, I'm barely meeting with skaters, Chris is, I'm not meeting with Glee Club at all :-( I don't have a "job." So why is my head about to pop off my shoulders?
Once I cleared my plate, it just got fuller. I am finishing this program soon but currently taking 3 classes, with 2 extensive group projects, assessment modules, and I teach (at least try) 60 7th graders day. All these activities and I'm struggling to keep my head above water. Trying to tread water is more like it while I stare down the barrel of a Sweet Sixteen party, Mother's Day (yes, I have a mother too), and a high school graduate looming within 3 weeks. Job hunting, And the most difficult part is preparing for a standardized test. A test to say I know what I should know to teach, a content test like our high school graduates are required to take. Super! I planned to chronicle my year's experience but have been too busy, but at this point I find it's easier to fill my plate with this activity than to sort out how to do the rest of it.
Ask anyone, I had the Fullest Plate. I was spending every other week at the skatepark with Skate Chaos 4H Club, every Thursday at the fairgrounds advising the 4H county Glee Club, heading up a girl scout meeting every other week, working 3 different jobs for a total of 42 hours per week, 3 daughters at home and a husband. I was busy and yet, to my satisfaction not TOO busy. I mean, I like being busy. Having a full plate means I don't have to clean it, right? Cleaning is something I detest. Let's organize all day! Not cleaning!! So if I keep busy enough, I have an excuse. Right?!
Here I am doing all these activities that frankly center around my kids. At this point in the spring, when marching band and soccer are over, 4H is the focus. So as we determine that not one child is interested in softball anymore, and we have other interests. It's all good.
Here I make the leap to go for my Master's degree. A step I've been looking at for 10 years. Finally, I have some money that gives me time to do it. Yeah, time is money and so money gives me time. What I mean is I quit my job(s) to take grant money and go to school with no financial impact on my family. So who would have thought when I stepped away from so many activities I'd be so busy. I mean, I'm barely meeting with skaters, Chris is, I'm not meeting with Glee Club at all :-( I don't have a "job." So why is my head about to pop off my shoulders?
Once I cleared my plate, it just got fuller. I am finishing this program soon but currently taking 3 classes, with 2 extensive group projects, assessment modules, and I teach (at least try) 60 7th graders day. All these activities and I'm struggling to keep my head above water. Trying to tread water is more like it while I stare down the barrel of a Sweet Sixteen party, Mother's Day (yes, I have a mother too), and a high school graduate looming within 3 weeks. Job hunting, And the most difficult part is preparing for a standardized test. A test to say I know what I should know to teach, a content test like our high school graduates are required to take. Super! I planned to chronicle my year's experience but have been too busy, but at this point I find it's easier to fill my plate with this activity than to sort out how to do the rest of it.
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